BlueTangsRock, though he doesn't admit it, approves of the unethical treatment of snails, especially in the form of flushing them down the toilet.
Tsduk quit the game because he ate Italian citizens and became God. He has better things to do.
Kian likes to snort powdered cheese when no one else is around.
J-Dog actually is a dog.
Me a she.
Pocadmin is never around because he swallowed a clock, causing him to be arrested and deported for illegally farting in an Apple store. (Kudos to him, I don't have the patience for that. It's too time consuming)
Eliezer has been hiding his true identity as Kirby from everyone for fear of Meta Knight waiting somewhere so he can take revenge on him because he beat him with an HDMI cable.
Shrek dies in Smash Ultimate, even after getting the Triforce and collecting all 7 Chaos Emeralds. That dang piranha plant is too OP.
Andre is secretly a duck.
I don't know why you just read through a post consisting entirely of me acting like I was hit in the head too hard, but whatever the reason you're awesome. Have a nice day 
*Sad Snail Commercial Plays*
"In the arrrrrrms of a shell" xD
Imao how u come to Duck for me
GLORIOUS
lol